Why Oliech Deserves To Be At Gor Mahia

Photo Courtesy/Capital FM

Dennis Oliech finally got unveiled as a Sirkal, officially. Some of us are happy about the move. Some are annoyed (about the club’s ‘lack of ambition’ and waste of money). Few are disappointed- because ‘the old guns are winning again in this country at the expense of the youth.’ Be wary of such people, because they are the same ones who believe that the boychild is under siege whenever the girlchild wins. So I’m going to explain to you, as I would to a 5-year old dumbfuck, why Oliech deserves to be part of K’ogalo family.

First of all, football is not all about trophies. It is also about goodwill. If it was about trophies, Manchester City would have more fans than Leeds United. And Arsenal would have no fans. But it is about goodwill. That is why clubs take strong stands against racism, even though it is individual players that get racially abused. Goodwill. There was a time in the Dutch league when the top teams donated their earnings and loaned their players for free to lower teams to enable them compete. Goodwill. Read the story of Chapecoense and the Brazilian league after the plane crash in which they lost their first team. Goodwill.  And Galatasaray offered to step in and help Emmanuel Eboue after Jezebel-reincarnate fleeced him off of everything. They weren’t obligated to, but they did. It is called goodwill. I could on and on, but you get the point.

And no one in this country deserves goodwill more than Dennis Oliech. For the simple reason that he extended the goodwill to others when he had it going for him. He once paid the national team’s air travel while your uncle from Kisii was busy looting the federation. I highly doubt he was refunded the money, and therefore as a nation, we owe him (but that’s beside the point). His entertainment outfit, Fishbone Entertainment, once organized a concert in Nairobi and lined up a performance consisting of Dancehall’s top artists at that time. RDX, QQ, Busy Signal and Ding Dong. And how much did revellers pay? Kshs.1500 for VIP and 1000bob for regular. Some of you have paid 15,000bob to watch Nigerian Octopizzo (Burna Boy) lip sync to his own music for two minutes before chucking off. Dude has always looked out for us, what’s wrong with us looking out for him?

Secondly, every public figure in this country thinks we owe them a favor. Your favorite gospel artist once made you contribute to her mom’s hospital bill while she planned a million-shilling birthday for a baby and bought a top of the range car the following week. Your MP thinks you should pay for his mistress’es medical insurance. Do I have to mention that your favorite Twitter ‘influencer’ thinks that we owe them retweets, so that they can earn a few coins and come back to the internet to call us broke? But good ol’ Dennis is trying to earn his keep, and you are mad! The man who sold off his everything to pay for his mom’s treatment instead of starting a paybill is trying to work for his money, and you are disappointed? Be a better human being, it is 2019!

Your argument that he is past his prime is utter bullshit! How many strikers in the Kenyan premier league are below 28 years of age? Besides, he had trained with the team for weeks before being given a contract. These people have an eye for talent. They have always (effortlessly) replaced key exits, from the prodigal son George Blackberry Odhiambo through to Meddie Kagere. I choose to have faith in their gamble with The Menace. If you don’t, Afc Leopards is looking to add to their four fans.

The only thing Oli has to do is to start working on his coaching credentials, for when his legs will no longer be able to do the talking. He shouldn’t give a shit about proving naysayers wrong. Even if he doesn’t score for us in 20 years, we will still scream his name every time he touches the ball. And when he will manage to score, every baby boy born on that day will be named after him. Okwabisecho! *drops keyboard*

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