Accept And Move On

So some random guy and his gang of friends decided to wreck the rectum of a fellow man. They filmed the horror clip and posted it for all to see the punishment they meted out on the poor fella. Another crime of passion had been committed. This was after a man had decided to chop off his member. Well, that was a completely different way to deal with dryspell.

I haven’t watched the video because I’m too squeamish. Probably one of the reasons I didn’t join med school. The other reason is because engineers can get away with dressing badly and worse grammar. The people who watched the video said they were traumatised. That’s how far a man had gone to avenge his wife cheating on him- raping a man.

Wasn’t this self-defeating? How do you win back your wife by raping a fellow man? Legal issues aside, a straight man enlarging the sphincters of a member of Team Mafisi is just sad and tragic. And disgusting. And disturbing. Even more unsettling is the fact that his supposed friends were with him cheering him on and participating in the orgy. I wondered what kind of friends he had.

Friends buy you generous amounts of liquor in an attempt to glue the broken pieces of your heart together. They do not cheer you on while you commit sodomy. Friends are your moral compass when you’d rather lose direction. I’m certain that even my friend, the man who can do no wrong, would not watch me let alone join the supporting cast of such levels of debauchery. Loyalty must and should be tempered with chastity. Friends don’t take videos of their friends committing sodomy. Friends don’t let their friends go down the abyss. Friends don’t let their friends land in jail for something they could talk them out of. Neither do they let you get engaged to the next available person just because your heart got broken. More importantly, friends know when you’ve suckled enough from the bottle of vodka.

Somebody recently suggested in the class whatsapp group that we have a reunion and opted to call it a peer learning event. He suggested that we hold the event on the date we graduated which he had done a research on which indicated that the day will be on a Saturday this year. This was practically an anniversary. Exciting as the opportunity to catch up with Mama Watoto was, one of the few women with beauty, brains minus the personality of a stale of loaf of bread, I found the idea too romantic and impractical, however noble it was. ( I’m also curious to how she got that moniker. She has a good sense of humour and for that, I let her call me broke and ugly on my social media profiles. Not that I could refuse. Something I hope she hasn’t lost since she found a boyfriend and the Lord). But it got me scratching my head on what I had learnt since graduation.

My graduation found my relationship and finances competing on which one would hit rock bottom first. Relationship won; the missus texted a few days after I had sat my severely dehydrated self through speeches by people in better looking gowns. I accepted her decision. Not because I agreed with it but because as a man, I accept the things I can’t change.

We do not own fellow humans. They consciously choose to be with us. Okay, sometimes Daktari Maji Marefu Kutoka Zanzibar or hypnotic sessions from your local pastor claim to help. Regardless of your persuasions, the ultimate decision doesn’t rest with us. It’s up to the people we want to sweat over. They may want to be exclusive. Good for you. Some may be believers in communism. Bad for you. You may meet those of “tenda wema nenda zako” sacco. Worse for you. Whichever type you meet, the decision to be with you is theirs.

No amount of sulking, bullying, violence will change their mind. If their approach to relationships do not match yours, walk on. We cannot own people. Human beings are not like phones you buy in a shop and secure with a password so that you are the only one with access. They make a conscious decision to be with us. They can choose to be with someone else. They can leave you and go to someone else. Sometimes it’s someone you know. Remember, it’s their life. Also, they can be with you and someone else at the same time. If you find this unacceptable, leave. Peacefully. No dismemberment or chopping of limbs.

Wrecking another man’s rectum with your gang of friends can’t and won’t change their decisions. The battle is usually long lost before you even get there. As the government said, accept and move on.

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